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Eve is the Apple

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[13 Nov 2009|03:35pm]
I haven't made a public entry on this thing in yonks.

Hello, LJ world. What up.
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[31 Dec 2008|07:10pm]
lmfao i am just full of good ideas!

happy new youear, world.

[01 Dec 2008|11:20pm]
Put your MP3 player on shuffle, and write down the first line of the first twenty songs. Post the poem that results. The first line of the twenty-first is the title.

The Gutter May Profess Its Love

If this is a question, is maybe a lie?
So he would sulk and drink,
just three miles from the rest stop,
long white arms losing their strength and form.
You could be happy.

Satellites mediate for us the day's events-
You can have Washington.
I wrote a letter on a nothing day.
He's been trying with limited success:
I'm the King's forty-second son,
you're a little bit damaged.

Drink up, baby.
I am a blue blood,
I don't care if Monday's blue.

If I find that love I've known before,
come, come away.
Your crowbar swung through.
I've done myself an impossible crime-
I just want to take you away.
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[13 Aug 2008|09:27pm]
Um I just googled 'baby lovebird' for no particular reason

and up came this photo of a big old pile of baby lovebirds wherein the oldest IS TRYING TO FEED ONE OF THE BALDIES. It's all "I'LL BE YO MAMA!" even though it doesn't even have all its feathers.

Lovebirds are so very aptly named.

And I am posting about it here so I will have a record of this photo forever. Kthx.
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[11 Aug 2008|07:01pm]
In case anyone is wondering, Brideshead Revisited was beautiful, beautiful and melancholy in the best of ways. Very slow, very long, don't see it if you aren't in love with period pieces or staid British literature (well. Not so staid. Lots of emotions simmering under the surface and not being spoken, but evident nonetheless- Catholic guilt! Ambition! Greed! Extra-marital sex! Alcoholism! Homosexual shenanigans which may or equally may not go beyond brief drunken kissing! Teddy-bear throwing!) If you do, however, enjoy these things, you'll adore it. Also go if you just love to look at the English countryside, beautiful manor houses, fashions of the 20s and 30s, and/or Ben Whishaw.

Speaking of- oh, Ben Whishaw. Boy turned in a fabulous, heart-wrenching performance as Poor Gay Sebastian Flyte. This is not just my love of teh gheys and my love of Ben Whishaw talking, either; he seriously inhabits the character completely (and having watched Perfume literally two days before seeing Brideshead, I can say with some confidence that the kid's range is impressive as hell- sociopathic scent-obsessed dirty murderer to tragically femme with a teddy fetish? Nice.) and he's just. Heartbreaking. Ultimately I was like "what the hell ever" about Julia and Ryder- they dug their own graves, and while I quite liked Julia (Hayley Atwell's stunning face that managed to pull off the harshest flapper bob EVER didn't hurt,) I kind of thought Ryder got what he deserved for being such a covetous, willfully-oblivious jerkwad who got all righteous about a dying man's need for absolution; but I got teary for Poor Gay Sebastian, and I think that's equally a testament to the character's sympathetic nature and to Whishaw's performance- he made Sebastian's gay manchild thing seem natural rather than affected (well, affected, but natural that he would put on the affectation and therefore sympathetic rather than irritating,) and his downward spiral through doomed love and dear mummy's disapproval totally tragic rather than "well he had it coming."

I can't speak to it being a particularly good or bad adaptation of the novel, as I've never read it- none of my classes had Evelyn Waugh on the curriculum, and while I'm working through Important British Authors on my own these days, I've not gotten there yet- but it did make me WANT to read it, so that's something. I'm also considering getting my hot little hands on the ten hour BBC version, except that I know I'll compare it and since it's not dear ickle Benny Whishaw I'll be grumpy and won't give it a fair chance. But. We'll see.

(I kind of found myself wondering how the hell Keira Knightley didn't get cast as Julia. I mean really, isn't she the Go To Girl for British Literature Period Pieces these days? She woulda rocked it too, not that Hayley wasn't quite good.)

So...there's that.
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[03 Aug 2008|05:00pm]
So you can't join the Peace Corps if you have recurrent major depression.

That depresses me. Har, har.
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[06 Jul 2008|09:22pm]
I should probably tell my therapist about how my most-beloved characters- the ones that make me ache and come the most naturally- are always massively outgoing, massively avoidant of their actual feelings, and have massive abandonment issues.

Then again, that would mean explaining the concept of role-playing to her, and fuck if I'm going to let her in on that much of my crazy and my ability to project, har har.

Plus it doesn't take a shrink to analyse it anyway. I just demonstrated that and then deleted it, hahaha.

Oh yeah, hi LJ land. Long time no care!

[04 Apr 2008|03:06pm]
Just in case anyone ever feels like buying me ridiculously pretty but-way-spensive jewelry. Or dresses. Or lingerie. Or...you get the idea.

We're going to pretend I didn't just blow my birthday money on a mere three things from that company, k?
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[31 Mar 2008|02:55pm]
Guess who has two thumbs and is 21 and has tickets to see RENT on broadway and is eating mac and cheese right now and stayed two extra hours at work this morning after opening because she's the nicest person ever?


And that's my updating my LJ.
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[20 Feb 2008|09:40am]
The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing further, losing faster:
Places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! My last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

--even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (write it!) like disaster.

-Elizabeth Bishop, One Art

RIP John "Calvin" William Mulvihill
Nov 7 1986 - Feb 20 2007

We still miss you every day (you stupid fucker.)
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[18 Jan 2008|12:58pm]
So it's a pretty good thing I'm not at school right now, because if I was, this is what I would do:
-Get back in bed under the pretense of 'reading.'
-Sleep until dinner time. Sleep here means anything from actually sleeping to putting the covers over my head and staring at the darkness for hours at a time.
-Either go to dinner for the shortest period of time I could manage, or simply refuse to answer any calls/texts/IMs I got about going to dinner, thereby avoiding it completely.
-Sit around online but not actually doing anything until ten or so.
-Go to bed.
-Do the same again tomorrow.

Can't do that here, it's impossible to indulge myself like that with a mother like mine looking on. So I still feel like shit- or rather like nothing, just this heavy lump of nothing- but at least I'm forced to spend the day sitting up rather than curled into a small ball. My mind recognizes this as a good thing, even if the rest of me barely can.
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[08 Jan 2008|06:37am]
You know what realy bugs me? The Trojan condom. Well. Not the condom itself, just the name. I mean, who was like "You know what would be a good image to go with this prophylactic? The Iliad!"?

We're supposed to associate it with the Trojan Horse, right? Do they KNOW what that was? A giant horse the greeks used to get inside and rape, pillage, and destroy an entire civilization, that's what. "Guess what this thing in the wrapper is. Surprise! It's my penis! And it's already in!" It becomes a rape metaphor at best, doesn't it?

And this is what I think about at 6 am before going to work.
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[27 Nov 2007|12:02pm]

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[11 Nov 2007|07:06pm]
Made a decision this morning. Well, I've been making it for a while now. Hard one.

I don't feel like writing it all up again, so I'm just going to cp the email I wrote to my parents.

I'm disabling comments. If you want to talk to me about it, IM me or email me or call me. If you do any of these things tonight, though, know that I might not answer you, at all. I'll probably be rude. Sorry. I don't want to think about this any more tonight. I haven't thought about anything else in days (well. Except for friday night, when I had enough alcohol in me to introduce myself to people and not understand how they knew my name two minutes later. Not that this takes much alcohol with me.) I am going to spend the rest of the evening watching, in this order, Princess Bride, Love Actually, Romeo and Juliet, and either Serenity, Pride and Prejudice, or The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe; making icons; comment bombing with Sirius if anyone appears to comment bomb with; and doing nothing else until I am too exhausted to do anything but pass out when I go to bed. Not leaving a minute for thinking. So. Talk to me about RP, cute boys, movie trailers, etc, and I'll probably talk back. Talk about this, and I'm not saying anything. Not because I don't appreciate your care and concern, but because I am completely out of anything remotely resembling steam.

Click.Collapse )

[07 Nov 2007|09:56am]


In more somber news, November 7th is- was- would be- is- also Calvin's birthday. Hard.

But a little easier because there's a new person here, too.

And so when I say this next, it's two-fold:

Happy birthday, darling. We love you very, very, very, very, very, very, very much.
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[06 Nov 2007|09:27am]

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[02 Nov 2007|01:00am]
Mmm, hypocrisy. You don't make me want to kill things at all.

[25 Oct 2007|10:23pm]
I miss Calvin.

And I just wanted to say that somewhere. Again.

[21 Oct 2007|10:54pm]
It is amazing how quickly one can snap from feeling 'fine' to feeling 'homicidal' when one is on the rag.

People should probably take hints from people who are on the rag in order to keep those period-ridden people from being overcome by almost uncontrollable homicidal rage.

Just a suggestion.

Excuse me, now I have to go sob hysterically for approximately three minutes like the hormonal mess I am and then I will eat some milanos and then I will go pee for the eightieth time today and then all will be well. YAY PERIOD.
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[15 Oct 2007|11:39am]
"You have exceeded the 2.0 gigabyte weekly download limit (to sources outside of
the psu.edu domain) and are in violation of the Residence Hall Network
Connection Acceptable Use Policy.

This is your third violation and your Network Connection speed has been
restricted to 56Kbs (kilobits per second) for the remainder of the semester.
If you violate this policy a fourth time (for uploads or downloads), your
Network Connection will be terminated for the remainder of the semester. If
you have not already contacted your ResCom or local campus computing office
about this matter you need to do so as soon as possible."


I don't get it, I didn't download a single thing last week.


Whatever. I can deal with slowness. I'm just worried that I'm going to get a spontaneous 4th violation somehow and have my connection shut down completely, because I DID NOT DOWNLOAD ONE SINGLE THING LAST WEEK. I mean. Pictures. CP'ed pictures for icon making. But like...that's nothing new. Just. WTF.

I wonder if I can switch my comp to the other jack, just on weekends when Liz isn't here anyway, to have normal connection speed. Would that work?


I'd email rescom, but what am I gonna say? "Hi, I apparently have 3 bandwidth usage violations, which is weird since I DID NOT DOWNLOAD ANYTHING LAST WEEK and I'm sort of confused as to how I used up 2 gigs of bandwidth without downloading anything. And uh I never check my psu email so I didn't know about it til today."
I mean, what'll they say? "We don't know, bitch. Sorry. Have a nice 56k semester."


I am torn between total amusement and total annoyance. I. DIDN'T. DOWNLOAD. ANYTHING. LAST. WEEK.
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